Being single at 35 means…

  1. I cry … a LOT!
  2. I drink red wine …  a LOT!
  3. Every time I get taken advantage of by a mechanic I blame my non-existent husband for not having shown up yet to protect me from said evil mechanic.
  4. I still believe that Edward Cullen, Lucas Scott, and Mr. Darcy would choose me over Bella, Peyton, and Elizabeth if only we met in person.
  5. Babies, puppies, and elderly couples emotionally destroy me…and sometimes baby monkeys.
  6. Not being able to lift or lower the blades on a lawn mower send me into raging adult temper tantrums in the front yard.
  7. Sometimes I eat cookies for breakfast.
  8. Shaving my legs is only necessary for about 12 weeks out of the year.
  9. People no longer think I’m “waiting for someone” when eating alone in a restaurant.
  10. My personality is really all I have left to offer…and you have to catch it on a well-medicated day to like it!

While this list is a little dramatic, it’s far less ridiculous than it will be in another 10 years…aka…my obituary.


Picture swiped from twitter (@_singlegirlswag)